Divorce Monday is a real thing!
Statistically, the first Monday of the new year sees more divorce filings than any other day of the year.
Divorce (death to relationship) is not uncommon in the church. When you see people intentionally start attending other churches and abandon you, you know a “divorce” is coming. This can leave a nasty taste in your mouth. It’s like a spouse stepping out, and it’s only a matter of time before you get that phone call. (Yes, I said it—lol.) I’m not talking about casually visiting another church; I’m talking about emotional instability and intentionality.
If this sounds personal, it is; because I’ve experienced it. And, let’s be honest, most pastors have.
Hear me out: When the church was created, it was intended to be more than just a gathering place. Its purpose was to be a spiritual home—a marriage between a body of believers and the head, Jesus Christ. The church was designed for like-minded people to come together, walking in unity and accountability. It was meant to be a place of instruction, empowerment, equipping, correction, and launching. Most importantly, it was to be a place where people could encounter the presence of God and experience His kingdom.
There are various reasons people leave churches, and they must be considered carefully:
1. A genuine call of God.
Sometimes, God calls an individual to move on to something greater because their discipleship or mentorship has reached its conclusion. As a pastor, I firmly believe in releasing people to do the work of the Lord. To not see the potential and release these individuals is to undermine the kingdom of God.
2. Lateral moves.
We must open the door for those with the call of God on their lives who feel a tug to transition to a similar role in another congregation or organization. Help them make a smooth transition; it’s a kingdom mindset.
2. Adulting.
As leaders, we must make room for people to make their own decisions, even if we believe those choices are wrong. Adults have the right to choose their direction and chart their own course.
When someone comes to you and says they’re leaving, they have that right, no matter their reasons. Do not object. 9 out to 10 times they have already made up their minds. You can have a civil conversation, but don’t beg, manipulate, or try to change the gospel to accommodate anyone. In the event you’re genuinely wrong or the cause of them leaving, take responsibility. But don’t stop people from exercising their choices.
Allow your conversations to shed light, but never lower yourself to depend on people for the furtherance of the gospel, the building of the church, or the support of your ministry. The scriptures are clear, a man’s gift will make room for him. His calling comes with provisions. And let’s not forget; the gates of hell will not prevail against the church!
Don’t let your emotions manipulate you into a pitiful mindset. You don’t lose except the opportunity to invest. God will send others. He has a mandate that requires human partnership. He needs labourers and need you to prepare them for the harvest.
The church doesn’t revolve around any one person except Jesus Christ!!!Leaders and members may come and go, but God’s mission remains. Even Jesus experienced the pain of people leaving, yet He stayed focused on His purpose, trusting the Father’s plan.
Let go gracefully, trust God’s provision, and stay focused on equipping labourers for the kingdom. Instead of grieving over who left, pray for those He’s sending. The harvest is plentiful!
My friends, it takes courage and faith to hold this position, but hold it nevertheless.
Stay tuned for part two…
#KICCPastor