My wife and I would never dream of treating others the way we are sometimes treated. We wouldn’t dare betray our conscience or stand so proudly in defense of our ignorance, as some have. Doing so would only expose a lack of integrity and make us look small and petty.
This reality becomes even clearer when we reflect on how many people demand from us what they themselves are not willing to give. They hold us to a standard they refuse to uphold in their own lives. They withdraw from us but fail to replenish. They expect us to exhibit faith, grace, and spiritual stamina as if these qualities just appeared out of thin air, overlooking the effort, grace, and sacrifice required to cultivate and sustain them.
Unfortunately, this is the reality for many pastors and leaders. Sad but true! I’ve heard of countless pastors who have stepped down, succumbed to burnout, or even taken their own lives because of the relentless pressure and lack of understanding they face. Tragically, many people, whether knowingly or unknowingly, allow themselves to become tools of the enemy, adding to these burdens instead of offering the support and encouragement pastors so desperately need. This expectation that pastors should give endlessly without receiving is not only unreasonable and selfish but also demonic.
Pastors and their families are not superhuman; they experience the same struggles, pain, and losses as the people they serve. They face health challenges, make mistakes, and need grace, just like anyone else. The unrealistic expectations placed on pastors are overwhelming, burdensome and cruel. The impossible standards people impose are unfair, graceless, and hurtful. Pastors are not spiritual vending machines at anyone’s disposal. They are not punching bags for you to take your frustration out on. They are not your personal therapists, always available to solve every problem. They are not objects to be tossed aside when you’re done using them. And they are certainly not your enemies to be attacked when you have a misunderstanding. And for the record, they don’t have endless energy, unlimited time, or the ability to always meet every need.
Pastor, you cannot be all things to all people all the time. You have human limitations, and like anyone else, you can break under too much pressure. Yes, you read that correctly. The harsh truth is that if you break, your family often bears the weight and breaks alongside you. That would be a tragedy!!!
If you’re feeling this burden, know that I’m praying for you this morning! Please pray for us as well.
If you need to chat, feel free to inbox me. I’m but a phone call away.
Grace and peace!!
#KICCPastor